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I feel lower than low

I can’t do this anymore. I’m so sick of living. Sick of being smart in school, smart in work, being told I’m talented and just “so smart” and being seen as a brain.

I’d give it all up for one friend. Someone to go to lunch with, go to the mall with, go and play this or that with, see a movie, someone to just call up on the phone and chat “just because”.

The only friends I’ve had here were boyfriends. Mike is on the rocks with me b/c of the whole issue with being friends after a relationship and randy’s behind bars so there goes confiding and spending time with him.

I feel like I’m 15 all over again. The girl who hates the world, wants to die, and has the razor as her only friend.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 19th, 2007 at 11:37 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “I feel lower than low”

  1. Nan Says:
    January 20th, 2007 at 11:47 am

    You know we are a lot who cares for you. I don’t think it’s about how everyone else sees you - it’s how you sees you. Don’t let living your life bringing you down - everyone needs a friend with life experience. *Hugs Manda*

  2. Jenn Says:
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:27 pm

    Things will get better. If it’s any consolation, I’m in the same boat in regards to friends. I left friends behind in Pittsburgh. Here in Lancaster I know many people from high school, but they’ve chosen paths I’d rather not travel on, so I’ve cut ties.

    Hang in there darling. Things will get better. You have a lot going for you right now, so if you can just stick with it, I know you’ll be rewarded.

    And if we were any closer, I would drive to visit you in a heartbeat.

  3. Jenn Says:
    January 20th, 2007 at 9:27 pm

    P.S. Can I get your mailing address so I can send you a Valentine’s Day card? :)

  4. Lisa Says:
    January 21st, 2007 at 10:27 pm

    I know the feeling hun. My only real-life, non-work friend is 2 hours away. I try to make friends, but it just seems like so many people are on completely different paths.

    I wish I was closer. I’d pick ya up, take you into town for pedicures and lunch, discuss which guys in the restaurant are hot, and all the works.

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