Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you’re happy now?
I feel like ass. Serious.. major… ass. Life is just not feeling very positive to me lately and I feel like I’m on a downward spiral and I can’t get back up. Bulleted list time.. then maybe a nice cry fest.
- I’ve had to drive 3 days in a row 45 minutes each way in deathly conditions with a car that can’t handle the snow, there is seriously a foot of snow on some parts of the road and my car gets thrown off VERY easily. I got stuck tonight and luckily some stranger pushed me back where I needed to be.
- I have a shitload of schoolwork yet no motivation to do a goddamned bit of it.
- I feel like I have no one to talk to because I feel like if I message anyone online they’re sick of hearing me whine, especially about Randy so I truly feel totally 10000% alone
- To go with the 3rd point, Mike has totally distanced himself from me altogether and I get lovely snippets of convo like
DeathRooster007 (8:58:16 PM): that’s good to know?
Silvergirl0007 (8:58:39 PM): forget i said anything
DeathRooster007 (8:58:52 PM): already did
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Auto response from Silvergirl0007 (8:58:52 PM): Distance doesn’t mean being a total asshole
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DeathRooster007 (8:59:07 PM): take the fucking hint dude - I feel like locking myself in a room until September comes because until then nothing seems to be worth anything. I have no one right now to talk to, no one to hang out with, no one to confide in when i”m down
This isn’t even about Randy because it’s about being lonely, just very alone. And now with that I’m going to go curl up in my bed with my comforter, lock my door, and blast 3 days grace until time passes away.
February 8th, 2007 at 11:01 am
Oh Manda, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m never sick of being there for you, so please don’t feel like you have to restrain yourself.
Bullet point responses:
-snow will melt in another month or two
-go do your school work - it’ll give you something else to focus on
-Again, not sick of being there for you - ever
-Mike always was an asshole, only now he’s being less passive about it. Block him in everything, grieve the relationship, and you’ll be better off
-Don’t lock yourself away. Get that treadmill and work on school and the time will pass quickly.
February 8th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
I’m not online much, but send me a quick email and I’d be more than happy to talk about anything with you - and I don’t get annoyed. I sometimes feel like I can’t talk to anyone either, or that I’m being bothersome.
I agree with all of Lisa’s points there, especially the one about Mike - no offense. But I remember things you used to tell me he said to you and well, he kind of did screamed out asshole right from the get go for me.
February 8th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Aw…sometimes, online isn’t that great a place to confide in. I usually take my mind off of things by watching something funny to help lighten in the mood. Or you can always do your homework =)
I get the lonely feeling sometimes, too. But, it does pass. I guess when you feel lonely, the next day, wake up bright and early and set yourself to meet someone new =) I usually find when I feel lonely and that no one cares, a new friend is always good, especially a funny friend.
February 9th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I’m not sick of hearing from you. Not at all.
I might not always know what to say, but I’ll always be here for you if you need to talk.
February 11th, 2007 at 10:00 am
Things will get better. *hug*
February 11th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Hi,
I recently linked to your blog and I was wondering if you could do the same. It is,
delicioushomecooking.blogspot.com
Thanks,
Sue