Little-Nerdling.net

It’s all over.

Yes, I’m dropping out of school. Great timing for both vehicles to die on us. I tried taking mom’s today and ended up sitting in Amherst for 4 hours waiting for a tow truck while mom putzed around deciding what to do. Then $120 later she got the car back here. Mine is still in the shop and the one part didn’t fix it so they’re looking into a fuel pump but we know Amanda doesn’t have that kind of money. He also wouldn’t be able to do it until Thursday/Friday. Mom’s car is $457 to fix or some odd number like that.

We don’t have money, nothing. No savings, we live paycheck to paycheck and dad only gets $350/week to cover everything so that’s out of the question. My parents can’t bail me out here. I have no way to get to school, it’s a 35 mile one way trip.

I can’t withdraw this late in either, I have to flunk out and that’s how it’s going to have to be. I’m now lower than ever before. What the fuck am I going to do with my life when everything I’ve been working towards the past 2 years is now gone? If I flunk out these classes I’m now a semester behind and then my GPA goes to hell, I lose my scholarship. I don’t see another option, I don’t have connections. Everyone has been oh SO proud of me for going to school like no one else in my family has and here I go, dropping out just like so many people do. Hello fast food life…

Money really does make the world go ‘roud, without it you might as well kiss your life goodbye.

If something can go wrong it will. Both mine and my mom’s cars both died (was that grammatically correct?) in the same week. Mine starts and then dies/loses power so it’s in the shop getting a harmonic balancer replaced. That’s not even guaranteed to fix my issue but I definitely need it so there is $156 being dropped for a repair and then who knows how much for the other issue. No one can even diagnose it. 3 garages have looked at it and we’re still stumped. It’s driving me bonkers. Hopefully I can get my car back tomorrow because I’m going crazy. Mom’s is starting when it wants to so it’s not necessarily something you want to drive anywhere, you may end up stranded.

I skipped school this morning because it wouldn’t start for me. I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown with all this shit hitting at once. I have 2 exams on Wednesday and I have to work both Tuesday/Wednesday. I need the money from this and I can’t afford to miss, not to mention if I miss these two exams I’ll fail both of these classes as the exams are 25% each. Not going to work in my favor.

I was also intending to go to see Randy tonight but since the car is on its deathbed I highly doubt that’s going to occur. How lame. I have loads of reading and studying I need to get working on but my motivation is highly shot down the toilet. I guess Tuesday night I’ll have to get a buckle of motivation for Wednesday’s exams. Or not….

I’m so burned out this semester. Is it May yet?