Well it’s now July 22nd and it’s only the 3rd time I’ve blogged this month but it just hasn’t been at the top of my priority list. So… a bit has happened in the past couple days. Let’s see….

Randy had court on the 17th at 9am. We went and they decided to delay sentencing until his release date on August 1st from the halfway house. His options were either finish supportive living which would begin Aug 1st and last until Feb 1st and then get sentenced OR just be sentenced without going through the program with the option of a higher sentence. We had decided he was going to just get sentenced because 6 months is 6 months, supportive living or jail. He’s done 39 days of jail time for this period and before he has credit as well. Then he would’ve gotten 2 months off for good behavior. So overall he’d have had about 2 months of jail and we’d have been completely done.

Things didn’t go as planned though. We spent all day together but not with his mom b/c his grandma was with her and she’s one of those people who drives you insane and she finds everything imaginable to criticize, especially about Randy and the situation going on. So we came home and he had given his mom $15 to bring him back to the falls that night. She got childish and refused to take him back, even though he had a curfew of 11pm and needed to be back. We couldn’t find him a ride and no one had money to come up with gas. His dad wouldn’t answer his phone either so he ended up not going back that night, defying the house rules, and therefore having no point to go back whatsoever because once you violate you’re out.

So he is now facing prison, not jail, because he violated probation by not staying in the program. Regardless of the situation. He has court on August 1st at 10:45 I believe to be sentenced for the original charge and then they’re going to find out that he left the house… so he is going to get a harsher ruling. He’s hoping for 6 months of shock (aka boot) camp but we don’t know. We have determined one thing though… we’re breaking up if he gets anything more than county jail because I can’t go through any more of this baggage. We have established that the possibility of us getting back together is good but until then… who knows.

I’ve been spoiled with him being around 24/7. I know I’m going to breakdown when he leaves for good, I’m going to court with him because I need to see and hear what the judge says. I need to say goodbye to him…. and then I’m going to need Pat and/or Heather beside me because I’m going to be a wreck. I’ve requested off of work and everything. Not only that, but it’s his birthday as well. What a present right? I love him, so fucking much. It kills me that he’s going to be ripped away from me just like that for something that wasn’t either one of our faults.

As for things around here, they’ve been different. Work has been drama filled due to a certain someone by the name of Jeremy making it seem like I start everything imaginable. Yet…. we’ve all determined that no one can stand him or anything to have to do with him. I’ll be glad when I never have to see him again… if all goes well I’ve got about a month left of it.

Things between me and Pat have strengthened. He’s really my rock, my confidant, my therapist. I talk to him whenever I need someone and he’s always there whether it’s to talk to, joke around with, tease, or just for a quick pick-me-up. I’m really glad he lives with me and that we don’t have any sexual tension between us because he sees me like a sister and I see him It as my best friend. When Randy first went to jail and this whole mess started he told me to lean on Pat, that he’d be there for me and it’s true and I couldn’t be more grateful. At times though it becomes a problem because Randy assumes that I’m too close to him or favor him in certain situations and that’s not the way it is. Pat and I just have spent so much time together that we have an understanding of our friendship and the lines it does/doesn’t cross. We don’t have a reason to fight but with Randy it’s different because things aren’t always established.

We went from 9 days together to being ripped apart by this whole situation and I’m trying not to get too accustomed to him being around because I know for a fact that he’s going away… wherever that is and being distant is the only way I’ve been able to deal with any of this and maintaining partial sanity. It’s hard…. and I just hope I don’t cave in the journey that is lying up ahead. School should be a good distraction once it starts up again but we’ll see..

We. Will. See.