Well on Monday morning really early (probably 7/8ish?) I had a seizure. It was my day off so that was good but it was a really rough one. I convulsed (my body still is aching), my tongue is all shredded along with my gums and my tongue is actually blue now from biting it so much, and I ended up making a visit to the ER on Monday at about 2pm because I was bawling from the time I woke up from the seizure until 2pm when my mom decided to take me in because I couldn’t take the pain any longer. I also kept throwing up but thankfully I had a nice support system around me making sure I didn’t choke or anything along the lines but I still feel depressed about it. They ran a CT scan, EKG, and did bloodwork at the hospital and called over to the neurologist who put me on Lamictal which I was on about 2 years ago for depression. Hopefully I don’t have any more episodes now because my body can’t take it and the head pain I get from them is beyond extreme. My hand is still hurting too from the IV they had in me, ugh.

I think of it and I just want to cry because I know that during all of this I’m unconscious with people watching me and unable to do anything about it. Randy had to go to work while I went to the ER and he fought and fought not to go because he was so worried about me. Heather and Steve were scared obviously and Steve even began doing research on seizures while I tried to sleep the pain off. I just want to be normal. I feel like a freak…. :’( They just need to stop.

I didn’t go to work yesterday because I slept all day Monday pretty much and then from 5pm on Monday until noon Tuesday because my body was so exhausted. I went in today and luckily Nancy was nice about everything, asked how I was doing and stuff. She also was given my ER papers too so she knows I wasn’t bullshitting anyone. They actually sent Randy’s mom out here yesterday to check up on me because I didn’t answer the phone, I didn’t have the energy. I’m feeling a lot better now but still bah.

I worked today and the day went by fast but then I had traffic court for a cell phone ticket in July and he gave me a $25 fine, that’s all. I’m ecstatic about that, I can’t afford anything like $100 or anything along THOSE lines. Once I pay this I have one in Darien and then my tickets and everything are paid off and all I need to do is work on paying my credit cards off a bit.

Well it’s 9:30 and I’m tired. Randy isn’t home from work yet (he’s got a job roofing but I’m not sure it will last because his boss apparently stopped at a bar tonight on the way home and we’re not all about that) and he called his mother to come and get him. I just need a hug and kiss right now. I’m feeling really depressed and want him to just hold me and tell me everything is going to be OK… maybe soon… *sigh*