Little-Nerdling.net

My sense of touch is very sensitive and it’s the most relaxing thing for me ever. I love to just lay in bed and feel Randy’s hands as he rubs my back because it’s like a drug, I become very relaxed and my eyes close while I get goosebumps and head towards dreamland. It’d be nice to get that relaxing feeling when he’s not around so a massage chair would be amazing for me. I’d sit in it all day with my eyes closed just enjoying the feeling of relaxation. I wake up every morning with a backache and all my other muscles feeling achy and sore too so it’d also help there. The Human Touch company provides these as well as foot massagers for those who spend their days with achy feet and just want to relax when they get home and feel pampered for a bit.

I feel really depressed. I’m not exactly sure why but it’s affecting me a lot more than I anticipated it would. I’m moody, irritated, grouchy, and set off by the littlest things and have this feeling of just wanting to cry at every little thing for something that seems so minuscule. I again, slept until the afternoon today because I was supposed to go with mom but by staying up all night at 8am I was in no place to go anywhere. I have no motivation, no energy, I don’t want to do anything. I just want to disappear into the darkness and not make myself re-appear at all.

I also feel very distant from Randy, I’m not sure whether it’s the depression or the overall sarcasticness and whatnot that we exhibit towards one another 24/7 in a joking manner. Maybe with the sudden mood change my tolerance for it has gone out the window. I need to do something before I crash and burn because when I crash it’s going to be hard and not going to be pretty in the least bit. :-\

Many people have weight issues in the United States with millions being obese. There’s a difference between being slightly overweight and obese to the point where it is a health concern. That is when medical intervention may be necessary and a lot of times after diet and exercise fail then a lap band doctor may be in order. It’s a safer, simpler procedure which makes a small portion of the stomach offset from the other in effect creating a pouch. This makes the person feel fuller faster therefore allowing them to eat less food and in turn lose a lot more weight than possible without it.

I believe today I’m going to resume my job hunting fest and put in at least 5 applications, maybe more if I can think of places to apply at. I think I’m going to try hotels, supermarkets, and any other small places that are in this small city/town that I live near. I’m also getting out of my house which is always good because if I sit home for too long of a time period my mind goes a little crazy, especially because I’m in the same room day after day after day in a routine doing the same thing time after time after time. I’m going to run errands with mom for today which includes going to the Indian Reservation for her cigarettes, cashing dad’s check, getting groceries/toiletries at Walmart, getting her tires put on at 11, and MAYBE getting a job. I can hope, I need money so badly it’s not funny and it’s going to take so long to catch up now. I’m about to fall massively behind with no way out. :-\

Currently my bedroom has the following items for furniture. These include a bed, 2 desks, 2 desk chairs, a bookcase, and a dresser. What’s missing you ask? A big comfy couch because it won’t fit in here and we wouldn’t be able to get it up here anyways. However, if I was that lucky I wouldn’t be hesitant to order furniture online. There is only 1 decent furniture store in my area and they’re somewhat pricey so I’m obviously wanting to do a decent amount of price comparisons. Maybe I can do it a bit more before I actually get to have somewhere that allows me to decorate to my liking.