Little-Nerdling.net

The heat issue may possibly be resolved tonight, we’ll see. We’ve been using the electric heater but it only works when it’s blowing directly on someone and obviously it can’t blow on 2 people at once or both body parts. I either have warm hands or warm feet, not both and it’s frustrating. It’s also freezing cold in bed too under 2 big comforters so obviously you can picture how cold it is. I woke up freezing from my nap and warmed up downstairs for a bit. Dad popped his head up here a couple times and he’s thinking we’re going to do a propane heater as long as it’s approved for indoor usage. Kerosene heaters work nicely but they’re dangerous and in this small area we’d be roasting in no time. I’m just hoping we can find SOME solution before it gets even colder. It’s currently 24F out so brrrr. I hate to see when it’s -15. AHH!

My sense of touch is very sensitive and it’s the most relaxing thing for me ever. I love to just lay in bed and feel Randy’s hands as he rubs my back because it’s like a drug, I become very relaxed and my eyes close while I get goosebumps and head towards dreamland. It’d be nice to get that relaxing feeling when he’s not around so a massage chair would be amazing for me. I’d sit in it all day with my eyes closed just enjoying the feeling of relaxation. I wake up every morning with a backache and all my other muscles feeling achy and sore too so it’d also help there. The Human Touch company provides these as well as foot massagers for those who spend their days with achy feet and just want to relax when they get home and feel pampered for a bit.

I feel really depressed. I’m not exactly sure why but it’s affecting me a lot more than I anticipated it would. I’m moody, irritated, grouchy, and set off by the littlest things and have this feeling of just wanting to cry at every little thing for something that seems so minuscule. I again, slept until the afternoon today because I was supposed to go with mom but by staying up all night at 8am I was in no place to go anywhere. I have no motivation, no energy, I don’t want to do anything. I just want to disappear into the darkness and not make myself re-appear at all.

I also feel very distant from Randy, I’m not sure whether it’s the depression or the overall sarcasticness and whatnot that we exhibit towards one another 24/7 in a joking manner. Maybe with the sudden mood change my tolerance for it has gone out the window. I need to do something before I crash and burn because when I crash it’s going to be hard and not going to be pretty in the least bit. :-\

Many people have weight issues in the United States with millions being obese. There’s a difference between being slightly overweight and obese to the point where it is a health concern. That is when medical intervention may be necessary and a lot of times after diet and exercise fail then a lap band doctor may be in order. It’s a safer, simpler procedure which makes a small portion of the stomach offset from the other in effect creating a pouch. This makes the person feel fuller faster therefore allowing them to eat less food and in turn lose a lot more weight than possible without it.

I believe today I’m going to resume my job hunting fest and put in at least 5 applications, maybe more if I can think of places to apply at. I think I’m going to try hotels, supermarkets, and any other small places that are in this small city/town that I live near. I’m also getting out of my house which is always good because if I sit home for too long of a time period my mind goes a little crazy, especially because I’m in the same room day after day after day in a routine doing the same thing time after time after time. I’m going to run errands with mom for today which includes going to the Indian Reservation for her cigarettes, cashing dad’s check, getting groceries/toiletries at Walmart, getting her tires put on at 11, and MAYBE getting a job. I can hope, I need money so badly it’s not funny and it’s going to take so long to catch up now. I’m about to fall massively behind with no way out. :-\