Little-Nerdling.net

I’m ready to flip out right now, either I’m being way too touchy or every little minuscule thing is getting to me and seeming like it’s 340823903x worse.

• Mom’s best friend’s daughter Jennifer is 29, we ended up seeing her today and I’m sick of her. She has this holier than thou attitude, especially with her “Pff, I could NEVER imagine making $10/hr again, I make over double that hahaha and she’s also got this “Well Amanda why aren’t you working and do you really want to get married and settle down at 21 blah blah blah” and I’m sick of it. What works for me doesn’t always work for you stupid bitch. We used to be friends too when we went to college together (she got a late start as you can see) so I’m just sick of being attacked pretty much for my decision to be with Randy
• Pat. You all know how close we used to be. Well apparently last Sunday Heather messages me and says what is this I hear about you wanting Pat? Well Pat says Levi told him I did, Levi says Pat was the one spreading that shit around. I don’t know but I feel betrayed and sickened by that. *shakes head* If anything hammered that last nail in the coffin for this, that is it. I can’t handle that drama or betrayal by someone who is supposed to be “like my brother”
• On that same subject, the whole decision to basically ditch me once Pat moved out and Randy went to jail. I can count on 1 hand how many times I’ve seen either of them and now I’ve determined it’s NOT worth it whatsoever. Pat and his pills can go fall in a ditch and Heather and her pot dealing. I’m SO SICK OF THIS. Why can’t I have a “normal” friend who can live life like a “normal” person?
• Randy’s mom… whole ‘nother ballpark. Basically same shit as always, except she got fired and has a felony on her record now SO she won’t be seeing him and her throwing me off to the side approach really pissed me off, so I want nothing to do with her EITHER
• Money. I have no job and have creditors calling seriously 20 times a day. Some companies call 8 times apiece and I’m just… we ignore it. I have no money, my credit has gone to hell, and it’s all my fucking fault

His family has me stressed out, this situation has me stressed out. I wonder sometimes if I can handle all of it. His family is something I’m going to have to deal with the rest of my life and they’re really causing a rift in my relationship right now because I can’t deal with it all. It’s not my lifestyle and I never wanted it to be. I’m better than that and I feel like at times I’ve thrown my entire life away over some stupid shit like that. *sigh* I just want to give up right now. I’m SO sick of bullshit, drama, feeling alone, and fighting all these battles it seems all by myself. When can I ever get a break?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 at 3:46 pm and is filed under Love and Relationships, Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.