Little-Nerdling.net

Families eat out constantly in the states. Some times it’s fast food, sometimes sit down restaurants. I usually go out for fast food about once a week, sometimes twice, and as for restaurants maybe once every 3-4 months if that. It’s usually when a special occasion comes up or a bunch of us family/friends decide to get together (usually all the girls). Typically we go to the local restaurants but they can get boring. I’m thinking that next time we decide to all go out to eat I’ll suggest somewhere closer to the city, something a bit different from the norm. I usually am afraid to try new things on menus but perhaps if we go somewhere different I might be tempted to try something like Gulf oysters because hey, you can’t diss it ’till you try it right? Maybe then I’ll be tempted to try other types of seafood as well. We’ll see.

I thought maybe I should elaborate a bit more about my appointment at mental health. It was 45 minutes long, we discussed the past and family history. The general stuff. It was quite laid back and I really liked my counselor. She’s older but doesn’t seem like a judgmental person at all, which is obviously a good thing. My past counselor was this guy who always made me leave feeling like dirt. So once every 2 weeks isn’t bad either, once a week kinda seemed like a chore almost when I was at the other. I just hope this time around it works out better. We got to talking about Randy and everything and she didn’t insult me for being with him or what’s going on, obviously very important because he’s such a HUGE part of my life. She mentioned social anxiety more than anything else so… perhaps I’ll be on something for that and I hope something to help me fall and STAY asleep. We shall see.

I hate running errands. When I was younger it was cool to get to go to stores and stuff. Now I drag my feet with “ANOTHER ONE?!” Haha, it’s funny how we change. I had an appointment at mental health this morning. It was basically the evaluation portion. I have to go back every 2 weeks to see the counselor and in April (since they’re SO backed up) I’ll be seeing the actual psychiatrist. Quite a long wait to get on meds I see, I should’ve chosen a private practice. Bah! Oh well, it’ll come in time. Otherwise today was very very blah. Groceries, households, gas, Indian reservation. A typical thursday.

I think the BLAH factor is enhanced with the fact that it’s 12F outside.. with a windchill of -3F. BRR! I think that it’s time for a vacation somewhere warmer. How about south and maybe to the west a bit? Sounds like a plan, maybe I ought to check out some Las Vegas hotels to get a few rates for the future. I mean my sister is going there for her birthday next month, perhaps I’ll join. Except.. not really. I’m only 20, no fun going there without drinking and/or gambling.

Mike is still hanging around here. He’s going home today I think. We’ve spent almost a week straight together, good times good times. This girl that he is pursuing (liz) is supposed to come over later on today to hang out. I hope things work out well for him, he’s really into her. We’ve also determined that we can each lose the “ex” label. We’re friends. It’s nice not to call him my ex anymore, it’s got that negative feel to it you know?
Sunday was good. I spent $70 for gas, $14 for tolls, $8 for him to drink during the visit, and $11 for Mike and I to eat on the way back. So I spent $103 total. Bah. Maybe I’ll get lucky and gas will drop a bit before I visit again. Or not.. but I can dream right? Next trip my tolls are paid for and it will only be me eating since I’m going alone.
The visit went alright. He was a bit alarmed with Mike being there but we discussed things and we’re good. Him and I really are struggling right now though, the whole thing with John really took us for a dive. Now we’re trying to piece everything back together and it’s a struggle. We’re not gonna give up though, love is too strong to risk that crap.
I think I’m gonna get to work on that layout… sounds like a good idea to me. Something simple but colorful.

It seems like February has been a month of self reflection. People are coming into and going out of my life all in a matter of days. It’s overwhelming. Andrea and John came in, now they’re out. Mike was out, he came back in. Hope made a re-appearance we’re on great terms. Heather and Pat kinda took a step out. It’s like what? Then if Randy and I get Dillion there’s another huge change in our lives. I guess taking things day by day will allow the flow to continue. That’s all any of us can do, right?

I spoke above in a mental sense, physically I’m reflecting and mentally I’m disappointed and confused with myself but physically it’s not even a question, I don’t want to look like this and I need to get the motivation to do something about it. That doesn’t include products like Akavar though which promise to allow you to take a pill, eat all you want, and lose weight. If it were that easy obesity wouldn’t be a problem. A lifestyle change is in order including healthy eating and exercise. That’s all there is to making a change. Now to actually implement it.