Little-Nerdling.net

Mike has been here since Wednesday afternoon. It’s Saturday afternoon and I’m not yet sick of him, I’m actually having a lot of fun hanging around him and getting to just chill out and talk a lot. We went to Chinese last night for dinner (9 of us went, it was fun but a bit crazy) and then he went next door to a local game shop and bought me super mario galaxy for the wii. I was amazed because wow, he just bought me a game? Regardless, back here at 8:30 and we played it and chilled out until 1:30 this morning. I woke up at 4am freezing, brr.

Today is going to be a chilled out day. Hopefully we get tired early enough to crash and get a nap/sleep in before 3:30 when we’re getting up to go and see Randy. *bouncy* So things are good but at the same time not having a job puts a damper on all of this. I still think I wouldn’t mind looking into moving to NYC if my sister had her own place there b/c jobs would be a lot easier to come across. I’d have to use something like New York Moving Company to do it though. I have too many things like my multiple computers, furniture, and clothing that wouldn’t fit in a car.

Things are calmer now, thankfully. I’ve also been back in touch with Mike (and he’s here right now). I realize just how good of a person and friend he can be, definitely we don’t mesh well dating (21 months of experience proved that) but… wow he’s great for support and understanding and he feels the same way right now. A lot of drama went down with a couple OTHER people but it’s alright because I realize truly who will be there regardless of circumstances. He was immature then and he’s grown up a lot. I’m glad that after knowing him for 3 years we can connect in this way, regardless of what we’ve been through because there were some extremely rough patches.

And Mike is coming with me to go see Randy on Sunday. That makes me happy because it’s 4 1/2 hours I don’t have to drive by myself. We’ll jam to some music, talk, and chillax from 3:30am until 8pm or so. I just hope Randy doesn’t have a problem with it, he shouldn’t though because he said I can hang out with Mike and trusts him and I together completely. Fun shit, he’s chilling out here for now because circumstances in his life suck. We’re being good support systems to one another and he’s pursuing a certain someone that I hope works out for him. His last relationship really took a toll on him.

Good days are always followed by bad days I noticed. I guess I could say it’s a bad or good day. Bad because I have to come to terms with something a certain someone has been telling me but my naive self wouldn’t believe. Today the true picture surfaced and I saw for myself that what she said is indeed, quite true. I guess I’ll take it as a life lesson and learn from it like we have to do with everything that comes up. I’m hurt, I’m very hurt by all of this but all it can do is make me stronger in the end. Even better, it reinforces just how lucky I am to have someone who will never turn on me or betray me in any way, shape, or form. I just wish he were home … each day seems like it’s becoming harder and harder to get through. I just want a way to cope and the methods I’ve turned to this past month have come back to bite me in the ass this past month. Very hard at that.

*sigh* Is it July yet?

Well usually I despise Sundays. They’re overall boring days and nothing goes on so I just blah de blah around the house. However, I was woken up at 10:16am with that lovely ringtone on our house phone that says “OMG Amanda wake up he’s calling!” (because of COURSE i had the phone beside me). We did our usual 10 minute rush everything possible talk and afterwards I had a smile on my face. Definitely a good call. We managed to talk about a few things for those short minutes including..

• Him wanting my mom to have power of attorney over him while he’s there to grant custody of Dillion to me (SCARY, this is BIG)
• John’s OD attempt and how we all stand in that
• Me hanging out with Andrea
• His plea for me to come down next weekend.. I had to say yes. He’s irresistible
• He told me almost didn’t call b/c he’s received no letters. I told him i mailed out 2 this past week and he’s got one going out tomorrow along with a $20 M/O for stamps, paper, and envelopes

Quite productive. Then my brother and I managed to paint a good portion of my bedroom in my lovely blue color. I need to touch up around edges and such. Probably 2 more sessions. If I do it all at once I get bored/frustrated and do a shitty job. Then I need to do white around the window/door. Afterwards I need approximately 25 frames because I’m doing one of my walls that will says “True love never dies” (1 word per frame) and then beneath it 2 rows of pictures. 5 per row and 8 total will be him and I, then 1 of him and one of myself. On the opposing wall I’m going to have “Memories never fade” and 8 pictures of places we’ve gone. I’ve got the aquarium, races, fireworks, and niagara falls. I can’t wait ’till it’s done and he can see it. I also want to invest in a new bed set. New pillows/blankets/sheets. The whole 9 yards. I needed to immerse myself in something and I’ve finally found it.

I ought to curse my mother. She bought a deep fryer last night. These 7 lbs I lost in the past 2 weeks or so are going to come RIGHT back. Bah! I give in to temptation WAY too easily in all facets of life.

Well I looked at my clock this afternoon and saw 1:10 and didn’t want to get out of bed, I figure wtf is the point? Well I did anyways and we sat around for a bit doing nothing. Finally around 5 mom and I decided to go to Wal-mart which ALWAYS turns into an experience. We decided to buy a deep-fryer since ours quit about 3 months ago. Then we went to the paint section and I convinced her to buy me some paint. I got a small thing of white to do the trim around my door/bookshelf and re-do my ceiling and a bigger can of a skyblue color (I’ll include a pic below). Right now I have 3 white walls and 1 dark purple. It looks odd and needs to be re-done, I want something that Randy can look at and not be like ew. Sooo, we did that. THEN after we got groceries I convinced mom to get a $20 money order for Randy. So now he’ll have a bit of $$$ to buy stamps and paper. I like getting my letters. He wrote me a 12 page front and back letter that I got today. Very long… but it was good to read.

On another note John is no longer in the hospital, he’s been released into his mother’s care. He is beginning to speak a bit more clearly as well and I guess he’s been saying my name. He keeps trying to get my name and Andrea’s out. His mom said once he can speak in sentences and say that he wants to see us he will be allowed a visit. I hope so, I think it’d help a lot to have friends around for support to know that he is cared about. I’m concluding w/ a pic of Andrea and Allen the other day annnnd a sample of the paint.