Little-Nerdling.net

I can honestly say that I think Randy has FINALLY gotten past the issues that have been going since February. I think self forgiveness is the biggest problem going on right now, I can’t accept that what is done is done. I can’t fathom how he could have forgiven me and I constantly beat myself up over it. I wonder if I should say this or that because it’s been said before and look at what happened. He told me he’s going to “Give me that 3 weeks” and write it off as an experimentation period that I needed to show me what I really wanted. He said he’s not asking for one, he knows who and what he wants. I think I’m going to talk to my counselor tomorrow about self forgiveness and acceptance of the situation for what it is. I’ve changed my behaviors, seen what happened, and am working to change everything to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

It’s comparable to his big “mess up” previously of drinking and it turning into so much more. We both have our big mistakes and I’ve forgiven him for what he’s done so I guess I SHOULD be able to accept that I messed up and see how and why he has forgiven me as well. He’s changed his mentality and identified what happened with himself. He’s working on it in there with ASAT and will also be continuing addiction treatment out here as well with either GCASA or AA. We’ll see how it turns out. Regardless, I have faith that we can overcome this.

I’ve been having a lot of issues lately with Vista and I think tonight I’m going to put the effort in and go back down to XP. *le sigh* It’s going to be a crapload of irritating work though. I hate backing up everything and all that but I’m sick of not being able to print, use office, or even use Adobe. EVERY time I try to do any of those I have to wait 5-10 minutes for the program to respond and if I get lucky it will respond. It took me 30 minutes one day to write a letter in word and print it. *headdesk* XP it is. Vista… bye bye. We’ll talk again in the future if I feel like it. My computer should be able to handle you. I have a 2.3ghz dual core processor with 4 gigs of RAM. I hate you.

I’m contemplating finding the resources to build another custom PC and sell it on ebay to see if it warrants any results. If it does, well, that would rock but if not oh well. It’s a risk I’d be willing to take. Mom is looking like she’s going to be getting $1800 when those rebates come through and she’s giving me $100 of it to make 2 visits to Randy and she’s thinking that maybe she’ll buy an HDTV since ours is about 7 years old. I wouldn’t complain of course. If we do we might have to invest in HDMI switches so that we can keep all our devices such as the DVD player, ps3, and anything else we may be buying hooked up to it and can switch in between whatever device we’re using at the moment.