Little-Nerdling.net

Dear Randy,

Today marks the 6 month mark. You’ve been gone for 1/2 a year and I’m still alive. Looking back I didn’t think I was going to make it a month and now we’re halfway through (assuming you make parole of course). It’s been a roller coaster ride alright. We’ve gone from an anticipated release date of July 31st to November 28th, movement to at least 5 different facilities. I’ve driven all over the state alone and gone to a prison to see you, many actually. I never in a million years imagined I’d have the courage to do that especially alone. I called the prisons and got the information and I’ve done research to discover what I can and cannot do. I’ve met people who are going through the same thing and even met people online I met in person at the actual facilities. Weird eh? I’ve argued with phone companies and stressed about not seeing you but for 6 months I managed to never go longer than 18 days without seeing you even without a job. I always found a way to stand beside you and support you in any means possible. Your favorite thing to say to me was “You always find a way” and I never believed you until I saw that yes, I do. I’ve kept up the visits and I’ve managed to keep the phone on to enable communication. I’ve sent you pictures to keep your spirits boosted (Last count you had 89) and I even gave you $10 worth of stuff at visits from coffee to candy just to make you smile. Personally I’ve learned that I can and will survive out here alone AND I can keep things with us healthy no matter what.

I’ve now gone 32 days without seeing you and… I’m alive still. That’s a shocker in itself. The roles reversed from me needing you to be my rock and hold me up when I fall to the other way around. I’m now your rock keeping you up. We both assist each other obviously but for the most part I’ve got the strength. I never knew that I had that in me either even though you always told me I did have it, I could do this. I’m grown a lot in just 1/2 a year and I’m fully convinced I can do the remainder of this sentence. My doubts are out the window. It hasn’t been easy by any means and I’d compare it to going through hell but we’ve both grown and learned from it and I imagine the next 6 months will allow for more growth and strengthening our relationship more than it already is. Prison does a lot to a person physically, mentally, and emotionally but if I had to do it all over again I would because our life together is worth all of it.

I’m waiting for you to come home now. We’ve got 184 days left, hang in there and I will too.

Loving you forever and always,
Amanda

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 28th, 2008 at 3:09 pm and is filed under Love and Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.