Well just when it seems things are going well BAM another thing gets in the way and irritates me. I messaged Carrie about when she wants me to come down to deliver the papers and she said she’d only receive them if a cop served them, not me. I don’t know whether she was implying that she thinks only a cop can serve them or if she just won’t accept them if I deliver. Sorry to say, she doesn’t choose who serves them considering SHE didn’t file. Randy did. It looks like I’m just going to have to show up to her court date and serve them to her there because once I serve them and get my papers notarized she HAS accepted them and has 40 days to respond to them or contest or fill them out and mail back. She’s not making this easy at all and sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and tell Randy I can’t deal with this anymore. God, this marriage has been one of the most stressful parts of this relationship because she’s so freakin bipolar. One minute she’s nice and willing to work with me and the next she’s avoiding me or saying this or that. It’s bogus and I can only take so much of it. I’m going to have to leave early Friday morning to deposit money in my checking account so I can afford the gas to get down to the courthouse an hour and a half away. *cries* I’m so sick of all of this!

My dad irritates me. It’s bad enough that he drinks but when he comes inside and talks to me I just wanna smack him. He says the stupidest stuff and he hides his beer like we don’t know he has it. Um, we’ve lived with you for 20+ years we know you drink and hide it. He’s going to end up violating his probation and go back to jail or something but he’ll never change. He just came in and demanded I take him down the road to the neighbors to get the riding lawnmower and I asked “Well how are you gonna get it home?” and he’s like “i’m going to ride it, duh. What kind of question is that?” Maybe I’m just odd but I find it highly amusing watching a 52 year old man ride a lawnmower 1/4 mile down the road. He looks more ridiculous than someone using Side X Side parts to go down the road in their ATV but at least in the country it’s commonplace for that to occur… a lawnmower… wow. He’s such a weirdo.

So what is everyone doing for memorial day? I’m doing absolutely nothing. I think my mom and aunt are going to a cookout which sucks because I don’t want to go anywhere since I’m sick and my aunt is thinking I might have pneumonia from the sounds of it and obviously getting worse. (doctor on Tuesday, tomorrow is a holiday) I hope this just clears up on its own. I don’t think that a cookout would be too appetizing right now though because all I had yesterday was a small bag of sun chips and I felt like throwing up afterwards. I drank a lot of water too but that nauseated me even more as I hate the taste of water. I feel so helpless right now and I just wish Randy was here right now to hold me because that would make things 100x better.

My grandma went and put flowers on my uncle and grandfather’s graves which she does every year along with on their birthdays. I’ve never really done anything like that for some reason, maybe just never really took the time to because my grandmother does it and when I was younger I didn’t really grasp the concept of everything like that. On a sidenote, did you know that the tungsten rings site has jewelry for women too? I didn’t but I did see some nice bracelets I might consider buying. Since I can’t wear any piercings at my job it’d be nice to be able to personalize myself a bit.

Well my dad just went out to the jimmy to inform me of what I need and it’s turned into a driver side door, the back driver side door, a hood, 2 fenders if I care about the appearance of it, and a windshield. Say WHAT? When I brought that back from WV the windshield was perfectly fine. What happened to it while it sat in the garage untouched? He must’ve screwed something up while it sat out there most likely when he was drinking which is nothing new. He’s drinking today so I don’t want him anywhere near me. I hate alcohol when people can’t handle it or go excessive because it turns something that can be fun into something that is heart wrenching to see. I’m wondering if it’ll even be worth fixing though. The motor is great and a lot of work has been put into it but sometimes I wish I had the ability and knowledge to buy some Yamaha Rhino 700 parts to fix a broken one up and be able to zoom everywhere on one of them instead of spending all this money to fix my truck. For some reason I’ve got an emotional attachment to it. I figure if I was buying a different used car I’d be spending just as much and then some to fix anything that’s gone wrong.

Randy’s birthday is about a month away. He’s going to be the big 25, a quarter of the way to a century and halfway to 50. I like to tease and tell him he’s getting old even though he really isn’t. We’re almost 5 years apart though so it’s fun to tease. I’m probably going to get him a big package as a birthday gift. 35 lbs is the limit so I’m going to have him make a list of what he wants and fulfill that. Ideally I would NOT be buying him prison items in there and would rather buy him something he’d really enjoy y like side x side parts so that he’d have a project to work on. He loves things like that. We’ve got a snowmobile he’s going to fix he says and he wants to modify the jimmy to his specs. I’m going to make it run and he’s going to make it NICE. Maybe one day when we have our own place we’ll be able to own an ATV. It’s one of the benefits of living in the country. There are fields, trails, and woods to travel through at our leisure.