Little-Nerdling.net

Well I finished my first building in the village set. I have a church, general store, log cabin, small house, brick house, and a ski lodge altogether. The church, yard, and fence are complete. Unfortunately for you guys, no one is getting to see any of it until all of it is done. That means all buildings, yards, and the accessories I’m putting into it. I will have it done by November though which is my goal so it can be on display all of the Christmas season. With working nights and getting to do it I’ll be done before summer is over most likely. It’s a nice addition to the house I think. It’s a start, we could also use some more ceiling fans, working outlets, and bathroom fixtures as well. It’s an old house and needs a lot of work but that’s alright. We survive.

I was doing SO well and now I feel like I’ve crashed. I KNEW that once I saw him it was going to happen. I freakin’ KNEW it. Seeing him just made everything worse because now I miss him 1000x more. To be honest I had become so accustomed to not seeing him and only phone communication and I really wasn’t bothered by not seeing him but now? I crave that physical aspect all over again and I know that it’s not feasible to see him that often anymore now that I’m paying my credit cards and work and all that stuff. Last night I felt so alone though laying in bed all by myself (until my dogs joined me). I was canvasing while watching a movie and I just kept thinking of everything we did together.

At times I feel like I’ve lost him completely even though I know I haven’t. It’s just been over 6 months since I’ve had him in every way I should. We passed the halfway mark, we’re on the right path but I’m scared to death that for some reason at parole he’s going to be denied. He goes up in the middle of next month where they look at his sentence (1-3), crime of grand larceny, prior offenses (none), and his behavior in there (done programs, excellent behavior, no tickets, held a job before program acceptance) so his record is impeccible but … that fear isn’t going to go away until I see the status change on the DOC to open release date from initial appearance. If he doesn’t make this board he won’t come home until November of…. 2009. Yes, another year will have to be served. You see now why I’m so freakin’ scared and nervous. Last night I curled up with his wife beater and cried. That wife beater was the one he wore the night he was taken by the cops. I picked it up at the jail when he was moved to prison and I haven’t washed it since. You may find it gross. It doesn’t stink but it has a distinct smell to it that makes me feel closer to him. If only we could be closer. :’(

On a sidenote it’s going to be close to 90 degrees on Friday and I think I’m going to die. It’s been high 60’s all month long, I’m not sure I can handle that type of weather especially since it was only 74 the other day and I felt like I was roasting. Me and the south would not get along. The only perk right now is that I can put my sneakers in my closet and wear flip flops and sandals like the ones from Naot. I loooooove flip flops and sandals. It might be my hatred for having socks and shoes on all the time though. Blah.

We called the vet today and found out that to get Pebbles spayed and her shots it’s going to cost about $190 and for layla close to $300 since she’s had puppies before. Shots for Shadow are $52 and then all 3 need to be licensed/renewed. Fun wow yes? I actually emailed the Erie county shelter because I believe they said they’d do Layla for $100 or less because it’s a low cost clinic. Obviously I’d rather do that. Pebbles is getting done as soon as she is 16 weeks (mid July). Animals are expensive but we love the little brats and have to take care of them.

Speaking of care, Pebbles has a vet visit Friday. Her ears feel like they’ve got a big bubble or something in the flap. Swollen and kind of hard. They’re not hurting her and she’s not scratching at them or anything but I’d hate to have anything go wrong with them because I know if it’s a hematoma it can cause cauliflower ear and a lot of pain. Unfortunately for us, I spent my check yesterday before this was an issue since it randomly appeared last night. She should be fine until Friday though. They don’t seem to be getting worse either. My poor little brat though. Both her and Shadow slept with me all night. It was interesting trying to sleep with 2 dogs in my bed, one who sleeps right on my feet/blanket so when I get cold I can’t cover up enough. It makes my bed feel less empty though and considering how I’ve felt since Saturday I’d say it’s a good thing.