Little-Nerdling.net

I think this topic deserves it’s own post. Randy and I also talked about Dillion a lot last night and we’ve determined at this point in time fighting for him isn’t going to get any results. Carrie has a leg up because she isn’t in prison and legally Randy really can’t do too much of ANYTHING. So, at this point we’re going to focus on getting ourselves established and once he gets out we are going to live here for a few months to build up financially. He has 3 months to get a job once he gets out (parole standards) and I’d like to have a cushion in savings first so we don’t stress. Then we’re going to look into finding a place to live but I’d rather look into mortgage lenders for financing rather than renting because… there are so many more perks and it’s more satisfying to own your own home as opposed to renting and dealing with landlords. You can get some pretty crappy ones out there.

Once that is set in stone we’re going to push for visitation at first and see how things go. If we see anything that is harmful to Dillion by living with Carrie then we’re going to take action to try to gain full custody. Right now he’s focusing on the divorce because he realizes how much it bothers me. He should be at the law library from 1-4 today since they have notaries and legal assistance for inmates there. I’m crossing my fingers that he can get the ball rolling on this.

I feel like I’ve crossed a new line today, I broke a barrier. I received a message from Randy’s wife on myspace telling me she needed his DNA to prove that he’s Dillion’s father. Instead of doing the petty stuff that’s usual I gave her the prison address, his DIN #, and phone number. Then I messaged her back and told her that if she wanted to talk instead of IM’ing or whatnot to call me and gave her my #. 3 minutes later the phone rang and it was her.

We managed to talk civilly like mature adults and worked out that she wants Randy to be in Dillion’s life. Says she doesn’t want child support, told her she can’t get any while he’s in anyways. Also explained that this isn’t a battle, I’m not out to get her or anything. That Randy isn’t a deadbeat like she’s making him out to be, he does want to be in his life but she needs to work with us not against us. She claims she sent pics/birth certificate to the county jail but they were returned. So in the end we determined that she and I can be mature to one another and work this out. She’s moved on from him, has a boyfriend who she’s getting a place with. Randy and I are happy with each other. I told her that he has a right to see him and we decided that Sunday when Randy calls here I have to talk to him to see if he’d be willing to have Carrie/Dillion visit when I go up. Yes, it will be awkward b/c her, him, and I all are at a table for 6 hours and him and I usually talk about love and everything. I told her this as well and she says it doesn’t matter because she’s over him completely.

I just don’t want to show up like that and have Randy flip out you know? But he does deserve to meet his son, he’ll be 6 months on March 5th. That’s a lot of lost time, it’s time to get involved. He still wants custody but until that even gets into full swing I don’t see a problem with visitation like that. Granted.. I’d have to pick her up 75 miles away, drive 240 there, sit for 6 hours with her, drive back, and all that at my expense (guess who doesn’t work?) but I feel that he is worth it. I can deal with her for about 14-16 hours in order for that visit to happen, and I will if that is what he wants. This isn’t about me, this is about his son.

On a completely unrelated note my desk is very messy because it’s scattered with my various office supplies (I love them). Paperclips, staples, stapler, pens, sharpies in 25 different colors, and of course things like lotion and my camera. I need to organize, but it’s hard because everytime I do I get something new like custom pens or something. At least office supplies aren’t expensive, there’s a positive.

Well it’s 4:47 and I just finished my very first visit at Lakeview. I’m… feeling a whole mix of emotions right now. Mainly just scatter brained.

I got up at 5:45 and Diane picked me up. We had to go over to her house to drop something off and then headed up there. Then we arrived at 8:20, signed in. We stood waiting until 9:45 or so before we even got called to go in (note to selves: go about 20 minutes earlier next time). We did the whole metal detector deal and frankly while waiting I almost had an anxiety attack by looking at the place. The tall barbed wire fence, those huge gates, the …. it’s freaky and very discomforting.

When Randy walked in he was checking in and Diane and I both started crying because we feel bad that he’s in there. Of course I got to hug him and very hard at that. We all spent the 5 hours we had talking and laughing a lot. They had a nice selection from the vending machines this time, Randy will be quite stuffed I’ll say until the next time we see him. In prison he told us they had shit for food, here he said they give you a lot more. He’s very positive about the whole thing and he’s officially signed the contract for shock camp so once he’s in his platoon the 180 day countdown will begin. I cannot WAIT for that. It was rough seeing him there though, I miss him terribly and hearing some of the stuff (guys getting slapped across the face, hit in the back, etc..) it makes my stomach churn but he’s ready and willing to do it all to come home sooner.

Oh and he got papers from family court served by his wife, Carrie. Lori is her mother btw. I guess Dillion (wtf kind of spelling is that?) Scott Addison Rumble Jr. was born on September 5th, 2007 which would time it just so that he has a pretty good chance of being the father. The papers wanted him to sign custody completely over to LORI because Carrie is proven to be an unfit and unstable mother. His mother and I told him no way in hell, he’s obviously not doing it. First he wants a DNA test for 100% validity. Then he wants his mother to be granted temporary custody until he gets out because he has more rights to that child than the grandmother, hands down. The only problem is that he can’t attend court or anything like that while in shock camp. He’s going to speak to the counselor about it Monday I think. If Diane gets temporary custody… she wants me there as well aka assuming the roll of mother to him but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I want to know if the child is definitely his AND if he can get this done while in prison. I highly doubt it. And if you look at Randy’s mother vs. Carrie’s mother the environment is 100x more stable with Randy’s mother in all regards. I just hope this can go over smoothly.

Now I’m home and my stomach is killing me. I’ll probably chill out a bit online, relax, and just do whatever. I’m tired from only getting a few hours of sleep but it was worth it. I love that man so much.