Little-Nerdling.net

and I found out today that Dillion is now in custody of CPS/Social services. They finally took him away from Carrie after 7 months. There are over 30 counts of abuse on her including but NOT limited to using narcotics in his presence, abandoning him for hours while he screamed, attempting suicide while he was under her care, refusing to take anti depressants, throwing a chair across the room and having it hit and tip his swing over, drinking heavily while pregnant (He may suffer from FAS, we don’t know), and she has abandoned him at 3 different friends/families houses when she took off and left state with some random guy. She’s also named 3 different men as the father of Dillion. Lovely.. isn’t it? I just about cried when Randy was telling me all of this. He found out b/c CPS sent him the paper with all her charges on it and the court date.

He has court on the 24th because ideally SS would rather he find stable residency for him instead of putting him into foster care. So it looks like I’m making a trip down to the south towns for that court date, well, Randy wants me to anyways b/c the prison is transporting him. I just hope I’m allowed in. We’ll see what happens from here. :-\ That poor child…. wow.

Well, well, where do I start? I have a feeling once I do I’m going to get interrupted with a phone call. More on that in a moment though. I went to see Randy on Saturday like previously stated and it was a typical long 2 1/2 hr drive there and back but no bad weather thankfully. During the visit this one CO decided to be a complete pricksmack and seriously write tickets to at least 15 inmates for “violations”, Randy included because OMG HE HAD HIS ARM AROUND MY SHOULDER! Last Sunday we were snuggling up and he was rubbing my back the entire visit. He wasn’t even warned either. Our topic of conversation was our status and trust and a lot more other things regarding “us”. Of course he had his usual prison bitchings including lack of privacy, being moved from one bunk to another as soon as he gets to know the guys, and getting yelled at for things like saying sir because in shock he was required to. He also likes to say that breathing in that recycled air which could benefit from the use of air cleaners is killing his lungs and he can’t wait to be out in some fresh environment. He also left me a little lovemark, which he got reamed out for at the very end with a “Someone is going to get their ass kicked for leaving a mark on their girlfriend’s neck, isn’t that right MR. RUMBLE?” “Yes sir”. The CO, before I left, asked me if I was OK and I said yeah why and he’s like it looks like someone just bit you. I looked at him, rolled my eyes, and walked in the other direction with a smirk on my face. *eyeroll* Let’s hope he isn’t there Sunday. His mom is going to try to come up w/ the money b/c I’m flat BROKE now. I can’t swing this one. :-\

As for “us”, we have completely cleared out the closet and every single skeleton has come out from last month to even things from last year. Trust is going to be VERY hard to re-build on his end because of what I revealed but we’re fully determined that we can work things out. It’s going to be a long hard road but… who said relationships are easy? I’ve completely cut off contact with anyone in the past who has caused any instability between us. Mainly John, Andrea, and Mike who threw a hissy fit saying Randy was keeping me in chains and might as well lock me in a padded cell since I’m not allowed to talk to any of them. It’s not allowance, it’s a choice. They cause problems, I value him more than that drama.

Things are a bit messy in regards to phone calls though. Every 30 minute call is $3.23 collect and he’s calling 4-7 times a DAY. Anyone wanna do that crazy math? Yeah, when the phone bill comes in we’re going to regret it. Also, he’s calling every 2-3 hours to check up and make sure I am where I say I am. It’s almost suffocating I’d say. I decided to go to walmart and mcdonald’s after his mom’s yesterday and I got reamed OUT when I got home at 8:30 instead of 7:30 when I said I should be home. That was a ballpark estimate, I’m not used to having curfews or revolving my life around when that phone is going to ring. *frustration* We’ll take it on though and deal as we have to. Only about 8 1/2 more months to deal with this crap.

He received a letter from DSS saying that there have been 2 complaints of child abuse filed for Dillion in the past 3 months and as the father they’re informing him, and he was “not named on either complaint”. Well, duh, he was incarcerated. So they’re doing an investigation and he’s going to write to them to possibly get custody turned over to his mother for the rest of his sentence. God, what a screwed up situation all around.

I think this topic deserves it’s own post. Randy and I also talked about Dillion a lot last night and we’ve determined at this point in time fighting for him isn’t going to get any results. Carrie has a leg up because she isn’t in prison and legally Randy really can’t do too much of ANYTHING. So, at this point we’re going to focus on getting ourselves established and once he gets out we are going to live here for a few months to build up financially. He has 3 months to get a job once he gets out (parole standards) and I’d like to have a cushion in savings first so we don’t stress. Then we’re going to look into finding a place to live but I’d rather look into mortgage lenders for financing rather than renting because… there are so many more perks and it’s more satisfying to own your own home as opposed to renting and dealing with landlords. You can get some pretty crappy ones out there.

Once that is set in stone we’re going to push for visitation at first and see how things go. If we see anything that is harmful to Dillion by living with Carrie then we’re going to take action to try to gain full custody. Right now he’s focusing on the divorce because he realizes how much it bothers me. He should be at the law library from 1-4 today since they have notaries and legal assistance for inmates there. I’m crossing my fingers that he can get the ball rolling on this.

Haha, I spoke too soon I see. Carrie now messaged me saying that she and her bf don’t feel Dillion should be “put through that” and if Randy wants to see him he can wait until he gets out and “Keeps his ass out of trouble”. Whatever. I’m sick of these childish games. If that’s what she wanted why the heck did she message me last night AND talk to me on the phone all cooperative and all about this idea. Again, whatever. I don’t have time for this crap. She has CPS watching her right now… let’s just hope she mucks up somewhere along the lines and Randy’s papers to get custody end up with us coming out on top of this and he can get custody. She’s a wackjob.

That, on top of drama involving John…. is bringing me to the breaking point. I feel like I’m going to puke, cry, and scream all at the same time. I think soon enough I’m gonna go write a letter and bawl my eyes out while I do. Listen to music while doing it… hope I can fall asleep early tonight so I can wake up tomorrow morning with his phone call. *sigh* I talked to Heather a bit tonight, it made me feel better. We caught up on a few things, talked shit over, we’re doing good. She mentioned that the holiday inn is hiring for like 4-5 different housekeepers that they want to get trained before the summer season starts. So I’m going to head over and apply there on Monday most likely. Wish me luck on that. Afterall, it’s not like I have the skills to get business funding and apply it towards something big. Yet. Maybe once I graduate from college and my life settles down a bit in the craziness area.

I feel like I’ve crossed a new line today, I broke a barrier. I received a message from Randy’s wife on myspace telling me she needed his DNA to prove that he’s Dillion’s father. Instead of doing the petty stuff that’s usual I gave her the prison address, his DIN #, and phone number. Then I messaged her back and told her that if she wanted to talk instead of IM’ing or whatnot to call me and gave her my #. 3 minutes later the phone rang and it was her.

We managed to talk civilly like mature adults and worked out that she wants Randy to be in Dillion’s life. Says she doesn’t want child support, told her she can’t get any while he’s in anyways. Also explained that this isn’t a battle, I’m not out to get her or anything. That Randy isn’t a deadbeat like she’s making him out to be, he does want to be in his life but she needs to work with us not against us. She claims she sent pics/birth certificate to the county jail but they were returned. So in the end we determined that she and I can be mature to one another and work this out. She’s moved on from him, has a boyfriend who she’s getting a place with. Randy and I are happy with each other. I told her that he has a right to see him and we decided that Sunday when Randy calls here I have to talk to him to see if he’d be willing to have Carrie/Dillion visit when I go up. Yes, it will be awkward b/c her, him, and I all are at a table for 6 hours and him and I usually talk about love and everything. I told her this as well and she says it doesn’t matter because she’s over him completely.

I just don’t want to show up like that and have Randy flip out you know? But he does deserve to meet his son, he’ll be 6 months on March 5th. That’s a lot of lost time, it’s time to get involved. He still wants custody but until that even gets into full swing I don’t see a problem with visitation like that. Granted.. I’d have to pick her up 75 miles away, drive 240 there, sit for 6 hours with her, drive back, and all that at my expense (guess who doesn’t work?) but I feel that he is worth it. I can deal with her for about 14-16 hours in order for that visit to happen, and I will if that is what he wants. This isn’t about me, this is about his son.

On a completely unrelated note my desk is very messy because it’s scattered with my various office supplies (I love them). Paperclips, staples, stapler, pens, sharpies in 25 different colors, and of course things like lotion and my camera. I need to organize, but it’s hard because everytime I do I get something new like custom pens or something. At least office supplies aren’t expensive, there’s a positive.