Little-Nerdling.net

I’m on edge and I need a way to top it out because if I don’t I’m afraid of what I will end up doing. I’m going to snap and I’m not sure how but it won’t be good. I feel so down and out about myself lately, like a complete and utter failure in everything I’ve done in the past or attempt to do now. It’s killing me and I’m taking it out on everybody because I can’t deal with this. I need to have a purpose, I need to have a center area of focus to make myself feel like I’m living a productive and useful life and lately it feels like I’m doing absolutely NOTHING good for anybody at all. It’s driving me nuts… bringing me to the edge… and I have GOT to figure out how to get up and over it before I resort to SI again. It’s been 3 months since I have. I’d like to keep that streak going. I’m working on pursuing something but that isn’t going to be announced until it’s a guarantee. I don’t want to get my hopes up before it happens. *sigh*

I wish I had counseling this week. It needs to be the 17th of April already too, I need to see that doctor and get put on some meds to help me deal with all of this. I’m not doing too well handling it all by myself. I’ve been working on my canvasing and finished my heart, I need to do the front/back of the bears and then maybe I’ll work on something more difficult like babydolls or Christmas scenes.

I was also tagged with a meme. (more…)